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Asking for a divorce is not expected to be easy, even if you’re ready to move on from your marriage. This is a difficult conversation for both individuals, as you’re forced to come face-to-face with your failed marriage and the future.

When you take all the right steps when asking for a divorce, it’s much easier to move through the process in an efficient manner. This doesn’t mean you won’t face challenges, but at least you’re doing whatever you can to put yourself in a position to minimize the impact on your life.

Here are a few things you can do when asking your spouse for a divorce:

  • Prepare yourself: Knowing what you want to say, how you’ll react, and how to deal with your spouse’s reaction can go a long way in helping you push the conversation forward. When you prepare for everything, you don’t have to worry about anything catching you off-guard.
  • Have the conversation in private: As long as you don’t have any concerns about your safety, you’ll want to discuss your divorce in a private setting. This is preferred over asking for a divorce in front of other people, such as your children or other family members.
  • Don’t change your mind: If you’ve thought things through and realize that divorce is what you need to improve your life, don’t change your mind as a result of your spouse’s reaction. It’s okay to hear the person out, but if you change your mind now you may regret it down the line.
  • Don’t get caught up in the details: You both know that divorce can be messy. You have to negotiate on a variety of fronts, such as child custody and property division. You can work through these things in mediation or litigation. You don’t have to talk about them during this conversation, as it can quickly result in an argument.

No matter what you do, you shouldn’t expect things to go 100 percent as planned when asking for a divorce. However, when you follow these key steps, you can do your part in minimizing tension and dealing with a difficult situation in an adult manner.

Once you lay everything out on the table, turn your immediate attention to the process of filing for divorce and the steps you must take to prepare yourself.